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Joke of the Day

"In a farmers market, Farmer A sells pumpkins, Farmer B sells strawberries, what does Farmer C sell? Medicine ... runs off ..."

"I wonder if people with speech impediments get receding hair lips as they get older?"

"I got sacked as a tour guide in Vatican City. As I was talking about the pope, we turned a corner and I said, ""Ah, speak of the devil""."

"Wife asks why I'm packing condoms Wife asks: ""Why are you packing condoms for a sailing trip with 10 guys?"" I'm saying ""Just in case."" Now I'm traveling with a bigger case."

"What did the mortician say to his new necrophiliac employee? Don't worry, you'll fit right in."

"My day has been so awful I keep looking around to see if Nicolas Cage is in it."

"[NSFW] What kind of birds do prostitutes like? Swallows."

"Why is ""Dick"" short for Richard Genes"

"I'm such a perv that... ... even the crack of dawn isn't safe."

"There are a ton of nihilists protesting downtown today... They're part of the #NoLivesMatter movement."