54384

Joke of the Day

"In a farmers market, Farmer A sells pumpkins, Farmer B sells strawberries, what does Farmer C sell? Medicine ... runs off ..."

"9 just turned the toaster all the way up and basically made charcoal for breakfast, so I'm ordering new furniture with his college fund."

"Made some terrible life choices the last few years. Just kidding. I'm married and not allowed to make decisions."

"My grades are telling me to be a trophy wife but my looks are telling me to study harder."

"Sports: So how's the shoestring game goin'? Right now, it's ***ALL TIED-UP!*** Oh my-oh-my! I couldn't find a cornylamejokes subreddit, so... ~Skip"

"My wife asked me where I'd like to be buried... Apparently ""Balls deep in your sister"" was not the answer she was expecting."

"[sees kid crying] Kid: Im lost Me: that's ok. We're all lost. Happiness is an illusion. Life is meaningless. Death is around the corner. Bye"

"A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it."

"I hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?"

"What did the duck say when she bought lipstick? Just put it on my bill."