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Joke of the Day

"Wife asks why I'm packing condoms Wife asks: ""Why are you packing condoms for a sailing trip with 10 guys?"" I'm saying ""Just in case."" Now I'm traveling with a bigger case."

"What do you call a British woman with a yeast infection? An English muffin"

"I saw an ironing board with wrinkles in it I thought that was pretty ironic."

"When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment... When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute."

"There's a lot of mountains high enough to keep me away from you. You see that Everest mountain? Ain't no way I'm climbing that for you."

"How do you catch a polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice, take peas and put them around the hole. Now when he comes to take a pea, kick him in the icehole."

"Did you hear about the burglar who fell in the cement mixer? Now he's a hardened criminal."

"I once donated a pint of blood and the doctors were quite greatful. They said it contained enough alcohol to sterilize their equipment."

"I like my women like I like my milk Rich, white, and 2% fat."

"I really dislike my CW, so everyday I steal a Kleenex from her desk. In about 500 days, she's gonna be pissed."