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Joke of the Day

"A few minutes ago while I was lifeguarding, an old lady told me that I looked like a lion pacing back and forth. Now I'm nervous for my dentist appointment on Thursday."

"Why did the soccer player have to ask for a bib at the restaurant? Because he was Messi"

"So, I told a girl ""send boobs""... ...and she sent me a topless of her, 8 years old, at a beach. Girls are really losing it, man. Year-old picture?!"

"My cousin writes a lot of dark, emo poetry His parents say not to worry, though - he's just going through a phrase."

"I used to watch the Olympics on TV as a child and dream of growing up and also watching the Olympics on TV but on a better TV."

"Home is where the heart is, and hopefully it's where all of the other vital organs reside too."

"Superbowl XLVII - How does Beyonce answer the phone? *HALO HALO HALO!* - inspired from the Superbowl XLV11 Half-Time show"

"Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No only medium rare!"

"I've just joined a reggae band playing the triangle. I just stand there and ting."

"Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had no-BODY to go with."