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Joke of the Day

"Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No only medium rare!"

"Is LSD illegal or just frowned upon? Asking for a giant purple rabbit."

"It was a classic Cinderella story: I walked into strangers' houses and made women try on a shoe I found"

"I thought it was polite to open doors for women.. But she just screamed and flew out the plane."

"The elevators are broken & I work on the 17th floor. Pretty sure I'm the first person ever to use the phone in reception to call in sick."

"What's the difference between Brussel sprouts and snot? .. Kids don't eat Brussel sprouts !"

"Capitalisation It is the difference between ""I helped my uncle Jack off a horse,"" and ""I helped my uncle jack off a horse."""

"My body is a temple, but it's one of those temples in Thailand where they let monkeys shit all over the place"

"What do you call a docks nanny? An Au'Peir"

"[Interrogation room] Good cop: ""Confess and we will go easy on you"" Sweet tooth cop: ""You bes- *hears music* -ICE CREAM MAN!"" *runs outside*"