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Joke of the Day

"So, I told a girl ""send boobs""... ...and she sent me a topless of her, 8 years old, at a beach. Girls are really losing it, man. Year-old picture?!"

"I've got a dick like a baby 8lbs 3oz"

"'It's ok, I'm from the internet', I whisper from under your bed as you call the police."

"Did you hear the amusement park was offering free bungee jumping? No strings attached!"

"My wife gets kind of bitchy once a month. It usually lasts about 30 days."

"Why did the Mexicans only bring 5000 people to the Alamo? They only had two vans"

"What do you call an agnostic? An athe-ish."

"A highlighter is just a regular lighter that knows how to have a good time."

"Damn girl, are you an alarm clock? Because no matter how many times I hit you you won't shut the fuck up."

"A hip-hop artist went to the shop to buy some cigarettes. He bought one pack for himself, and another for his hip-hop artist friend. He bought Tupac's."