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Joke of the Day

"My cousin writes a lot of dark, emo poetry His parents say not to worry, though - he's just going through a phrase."

Next Joke
 
"Dear people with resolutions, Please bring all your unwanted.. bread, junk food, soda, drugs, and alcohol to my house. Thanks."
"Name your penis after a movie or a game. Oblivion."
"I used to go to Weight Watchers to meet women [FIXED] Turns out they're way harder to pick up than I thought."
"I try to accomplish epic missions before the microwave hits zero."
"What does an alcoholic ghost drink? BOO'S."
"I met a smelly man who had a way with words He was a pungent"
"Who corrects Santa's grammar? A subordinate Clause."
"Sitting next to my wife today, I said ""I love you"", She replied ""Is that you or the beer talking?"" I answered ""It's me... Talking to the beer"""
"Why did the T-rex cross the road? Chickens didn't exist yet."