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Joke of the Day

"Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we're married and live together so I'd have to see them every day."

"How Do You Make a Plumber Cry Kill his Family."

"Thank you, U.S. Senate. I've been asking and telling people things all day!"

"A joke about Batman my 4yo. brother came up with Knock, knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Bruce Wayne!"

"I just saw a midget get pickpocketed... I still can't believe someone could stoop so low."

"I meet James Bond at my university. After some greetings, I ask him: ""Whats your GPA?"" James answers: ""4 2.4."""

"Canada plans on removing the polar bear from the Tonnie. And replace it with two gay deer, it's called two fucking bucks."

"Welcome to my garden of actors And on your left, we have the Benedict Cucumber Patch"

"My wife and I used to describe our marriage as 'forever', now we both prefer the term 'ad nauseam'."

"I have a pretty good joke about procrastination But on second thought I think I'll tell it later."