168898
Joke of the Day
"I have a pretty good joke about procrastination But on second thought I think I'll tell it later."
Next Joke
"Q: How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Four one to change it and the other three to deny it."
"My girlfriend told me that she's sick of me pretending I'm a cat Girlfriend: ""I'm sick of you pretending you're a cat. I packed your bags. I want you to go."" Me: ""Wait, are you kicking MEEEOOWWT???"""
"My mother + my father condom = MOST AWESOME PERSON ALIVE!"
"Last week I had to fire my lawn maintenance workers. They just weren't cutting it."
"Come here you greedy wretch. I'll teach you to eat all your sister's birthday chocs. It's all right Dad I know how !"
"Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist? He never learned to mix the colors"
"Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce? Because he thought his wife was a flake."
"Men are the best cooks... One sausage, two eggs, bit of milk and they can fill a woman's stomach for 9 months"
"Why can't Kylie Jenner see her mom? Because she's trans-parent"