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Joke of the Day

"Me: Do you want to be the big spoon or the little spoon? Coach: Me: Coach: Me: Oh. You said HUDDLE up, didn't you?"

"I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they're going to be talking."

"I love the way the Earth rotates... It really makes my day"

"I hate recursion, irony, and the Oxford Comma."

"What's got 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog."

"Why is Peter Pan such a terrible pilot? Because he Neverlands"

"What is Whitney houstons favorite type of coordination? HAAAANNNNNND EEEEYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEE"

"Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants? He heard the snow blower coming."

"Polish remover Hitler. The game Sequence has a wicked sense of humor."

"Girl, you don't even know how crazy I am about you.... I'm thinking about digging my mom up so she can meet you."