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Joke of the Day

"Tummy REALLY hurts. I guess that's what I get for being extra careful of diseases! (Coating all foods/drinks in Purell)"

"What is something that cannot lift off the ground? Your career"

"Who was the 45th Vice President of the United States? [Warning: Gore]"

"My dream car is just Shaq dressed like a fireman carrying me everywhere like he just rescued me from a burning building"

"Looking for jokes about short people... e.g. My friend is so short he XXX"

"What happens if you cut off your left hand? You would be all right."

"You can't run a country like a business. If you did, you'd have to pay profits to investors, meaning citizens. And that's socialism! Bye!"

"Why are gardeners good at spreading religion. Because they can plant churches."

"A man driving a car hits a woman. Who's fault is it? TRICK QUESTION! Cars can't fit in the kitchen!"

"My neighbour told me I'd left my lights on. I told her she'd left her big nose on."