54241

Joke of the Day

"Tummy REALLY hurts. I guess that's what I get for being extra careful of diseases! (Coating all foods/drinks in Purell)"

"What does a computer eat when it's hungry? Chips -- one byte at a time."

"i sent all my sims to universitey & they all became computer scientists & proved they were living in a simulation so i unpluged my computor"

"What's similar between a 9v battery and an asshole? Your tongue ends up on it even though you know it's wrong."

"My fortune cookie reads ""I peed in your fried rice"" and it's hand written..."

"Of course there's a financial crisis in Greece. How much yogurt could they possibly sell."

"[Marvel Avengers Age of Ultron Spoilers] If Captain Americas shield is made of Vibranium what is Hawkeye's shield made of? Quicksilver"

"Going to open a new restaurant ... I am getting ready to open an Asian/Mexican fusion resturant... I am calling it Juan-Ton"

"Just think about this: Jeff Goldblum is someone's uncle. Jeff Goldblum goes to someone's house for holidays and is Jeff Goldblum."

"Why should you always bring an iPhone to Mos Eisley Cantina? Because droids can't get service."