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Joke of the Day

"My fortune cookie reads ""I peed in your fried rice"" and it's hand written..."

"It's a real Challenger When I was first introduced to the Kerbal Space Program, my spaceship kept blowing up. I looked at my friend and said ""Wow, this game is a real Challenger!"" I am a bad person."

"Hey Target, it's Mid October, calm the fcuk down!-Santa"

"I always have a note in my pocket that says ""john did it"" just in case I'm murdered because I don't want him to remarry #truelove #tips"

"Japan got Imperialist Cancer... But thank God it was an easy cure, all it took was two sessions of radiotherapy."

"Today I saw Flash walking by, on the street. He must really be a shitty flash."

"*watching Dateline* wow this is the worst dating show ever"

"A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?"

"We come into this world with nothing... Then we die and our wife gets everything. ;-.>"

"So I asked my friend, if you could be in the sun as long as possible and not get sun burnt but the majority of the world hates you, would you do it? And my friend said yeah. Okay you're black."