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Joke of the Day

"What's similar between a 9v battery and an asshole? Your tongue ends up on it even though you know it's wrong."

"My gangster name would be The Street. If someone dared to oppose me I'd say ominous things like ""Look both ways before you cross The Street"""

"PIG: ""I'm paranoid everyone's trying to turn me into bacon"" PSYCHIATRIST: ""I'll cure you"" PIG: ""Oh God, not you too"""

"Is it wrong to hate a certain race? I don't mind a 5k, but my running group wants to a 10k. I don't like them."

"I spent an hour staring at the OJ container yesterday. It said ""concentrate."""

"what happens when you pop a cherry? she starts crying"

"A wolf in a river didn't know w(h)ere it was, so it how-led and an owl ""who'd"" back. The wolf replied ""What?"""

"A man is getting head from his wife... ...and tells her that he wants to cum in her ear. ""I'll go deaf!"" she says. ""Yeah? Well I always cum in your mouth, but you never shut the fuck up!"""

"[wearing a 'World's Greatest Dad' t-shirt while talking to the bartender] ""The younger one is about 8 and the older one is older than 8."""

"Knock knock Who's there? Ana Ana who? Ana gonna tell you"