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Joke of the Day

"Why should you always bring an iPhone to Mos Eisley Cantina? Because droids can't get service."

"Taken 3 ~ It All Ends Here Taken 4 ~ Listen, We're Just As Surprised As You Are Taken 5 ~ Whaaaaat!? Yep..."

"I loathe tweets like ""Be somebody's beautiful tragedy"". Might as well tweet using a random word generator. ""Be golf brisket honkytonk"""

"2Pac died because he lived the thug life. This 6 pack is going to die because I live the chug life."

"What kind of bird does not make babies? A swallow"

"Sometimes I like to hide my wife's inhaler. So the neighbours think I'm a stallion when they hear her panting "" Fucking give it to me!"""

"Her: when you said ""magical in bed"" this isn't exactly what I was exp- Me: *holds up 8 of hearts* is this your card Her: *softly* holy shit"

"A Man's Biggest Hope Most men hope they will marry a nymphomaniac. The problem is, that after a few years, the nympho leaves but the maniac is still there."

"Why would it be bad to be a black Jew? .....you would have stand in the back of the furnace! (Just jokes guys no hate here )"

"I just killed like a dozen carpenter ants and now I have no idea what I'm going to do with all these little tool belts."