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Joke of the Day

"Expected delivery while I was out so left courier a note saying ""Please leave with neighbour"". I've just seen them heading off together."

"Clinton still leads Trump by 2! FBI Investigations."

"Knock Knock (you say: who's there) I ate mop. (you do your part) I'll give you a while to figure it out. ...yes, it's childish."

"I painted my computer black so it would run faster Now it doesn't work. Edit: Should I have tagged this with something? New to posting here"

"iPhone 5s fitted with fingerprint recognition. I'll sleep easier knowing that if my phone gets stolen, they'll likely chop off my hand too."

"After significant research, I can confirm that toddlers will not go away if you ignore them."

"What do you call an angry German? Sauerkraut."

"What's the difference between a Garbanzo Bean and a Chickpea? (NSFW ish) I wouldn't let a Garbanzo Bean on my face."

"How do hispanics cut a pizza? Little Caesars"

"Seeing your ex go through what they put you through. Priceless.."