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Joke of the Day

"Sorry I used your baby's bald head as a lipstick blotter."

"[1st Row at Beyonce Concert] Beyonce: Who run da world?! *points mic at me* ME: [having briefly heard the song once before] ...squirrels?"

"4 people were about to have sex I think they were in foursome fun"

"What do you call a black man flying plane? A pilot you racist."

"The important thing to remember is that nobody asked you."

"What do German women's lingerie and Africa have in common? Ze-bras!"

"I told this girl I'd date the shit out of her But I guess she doesn't like coprophiles."

"What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana's head before she died? The Dashboard"

"Korean response to Dogs Wearing Pantyhose, A Popular New Meme in China They look delicious.....I mean cute."

"I went to my local city's zoo. They had just one animal. A dog! It was a shit zu."