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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the recent kidnapping? It's okay, she woke up."

"Interviewer: How would you describe yourself? Me: Verbally. But I've also prepared a dance."

"If sober me won't do it...drunk me will."

"Why did the hipster... Why did the hipster burn his mouth on the hot coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool."

"Answering Machines ""I'm only here in spirit at the moment, but if you'll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I'm here in person."""

"You said it was a great horse and it is. It took twenty other horses to beat him!"

"What can save Russian Bear Snow den."

"Why do we have to sit at red lights if nobody's coming the other way? We don't have to pay our taxes if nobody's checking, right?"

"""Hey."" ""Hey."" ""What's up?"" ""Nothing."" END OF CONVERSATION."

"Clever Commas If your Uncle Jack helped you get off an elephant, would you help your uncle, jack off an elephant."