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Joke of the Day

"Why did the hipster... Why did the hipster burn his mouth on the hot coffee? Because he drank it before it was cool."

"What did the baby order at the chinese restaurant? Goo goo gai pan!"

"My deaf girlfriend started talkin in her sleep last night Nearly poked my eye out"

"what would Barack Obama be if he was a vegetable? Baroccoli"

"what did the man say when he couldn't get frea with his dog? oops, forgot the ky"

"The last time I saw a face like yours I threw it a banana."

"I made a shitty voodoo doll, once... ...and all the limbs fell off. Worked out for me, though."

"Why are black people so fast? Cause the slow ones are in jail"

"I've just used glitter spray paint in a confined space, and now I'm on another planet busting disco moves with an intoxicated pixie."

"A Segway segway Oh hey, speaking of Segways...."