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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: How would you describe yourself? Me: Verbally. But I've also prepared a dance."

"""Mom?"" ""Yes?"" ""Are we having seafood for dinner?"" ""No, why?"" ""I heard Dad on the phone."" ""And?"" ""He said that he picked up a case of crabs."""

"The reason angels can fly... ...is that they take themselves lightly. **G. K. Chesterton**"

"The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is ""Salary is Credited"" "

"Q: How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail? A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive."

"What's the difference between a rectal thermometer and an oral thermometer? The taste!"

"Why don't women get hit by trains? There is no railroad tracks between the living room and the kitchen."

"Business idea Souvernir Shops in abortion clinics - so noone leaves empty handed"

"If it weren't for pick-pocketers I'd have no sex life at all."

"Luke got Darth Vader a Christmas Present. Darth Vader: Luke... I know what you got me for Christmas... Luke: Nooo! No! No!! How could you possibly know?!?! Darth Vader: I felt your presents."