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Joke of the Day

"So I Organized a three-way last night... There was a couple of no-shows, but overall, it worked out fine."

"Have you heard about the condition that causes your penis to ejaculate when submerged in water? It comes in waves."

"Me as a news anchor: an explosion at a nearby t-shirt warehouse resulted in thousands of *turns head to other camera* casual tee casualties"

"Blonde Did you hear about the blonde who got in a taxi? The driver kept the 'VACANT' sign up. (Found this in WuMo)"

"Don't even talk to me about how badass you are until you've seen how many ketchup packets i've stolen over the years"

"Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she has no arms"

"Thanks to advertisements I know I need to help the diseased, the pregnant and those dying of cancer... And then have a smoke."

"My RA just came to my room looking for fire hazards . He said everything was fine . I guess he didn't see my mixtape ."

"Cecil the lion's brother was just poached in Zimbabwe That family is like the Stark family of the animal kingdom"

"Why don't black people go on cruise ships? They're not falling for that one again."