201017
Joke of the Day
"Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she has no arms"
Next Joke
"I was checking out a Jewish girl the other day. Her barcode wouldn't scan."
"What's a woman who always knows where her husband is? A widow."
"life is just a series of people giving up on you til your body gives up too but yeah sure, I'll bring my famous guacamole to the baby shower"
"I drank my recommended amount of water today, yay! Okay, well there was some vodka mixed in every cup, but still."
"Why do blurry people always ask me if I'm drunk?"
"Girls wait for the perfect guy: Disney's fault. Guys wait for the perfect girl: Playboy's fault."
"Judge: The defendant is claiming you're a nazi. Is this true? Lawyer: *flustered* er no fuhrer questions your honour *courtroom gasps*"
"Q: What did the potato ask the cow? A: Give me some milk, and we can make mashed potatoes."
"When Chumlee gets out of prison he should do a show with Jared from Subway. They should call it... Child Pawn."