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Joke of the Day

"Cecil the lion's brother was just poached in Zimbabwe That family is like the Stark family of the animal kingdom"

"my GOTH DAD license plate is not a vanity plate it is a coincidence. random string of letters. could ve happened to a dad without eyeliner"

"Two guys walked in a bar and said.. The Game."

"Us guys like to be held too. Just, you know, lower. Lowwwwwerrrrrrrr."

"The clowns I hire always seem surprised to find I'm the only party guest."

"My dog can predict when an earthquake is going to happen. But television doorbell versus actual doorbell baffles him every time."

"Did you hear about that golfer who sang a song every time he hit a wayward ball? They say he made a fore tune!"

"If you're a woman and you lost your virginity, Chuck Norris probably has it."

"*puts arm around you* You've been burned before but, you're safe with me. Let your gaurd down, girl. *steals your pizza*"

"'I've never done this on a first date before' I say as I start vacuuming his place"