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Joke of the Day

"Thanks to advertisements I know I need to help the diseased, the pregnant and those dying of cancer... And then have a smoke."

"in 2nd grade we had to draw what we wanted to be when we grew up and i just drew myself with sunglasses on"

"What's the difference between your mom and my mom? Your mom still sucks my dad's dick"

"My dog gave birth recently. My dog gave birth to a litter of 8 puppies. We named one puppy johnny, he is a real son of a bitch"

"Four years ago I asked out the girl of my dreams. Today, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"The biggest profit I made from going to was college was Selling my t9 calculator"

"Tried to prank my Tibetan Buddhist friend. I tried to prank my Buddhist friend from Tibet, I told him the Dalai Lama had died. He was skeptical and said ill bereave it when I see it."

"What does the snowman call his wife? Snowblower"

"What was the last thing Hitler said to his men, before they got into their tanks? Men, get into your tanks."

"Contrary to popular belief, the most common use for electrical tape is to cover up goth nipples."