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Joke of the Day

"I don't even want to know how many nude pics Donald Trump's cell phone must have of him."

"[boys at work talking sports] Them: what's your favorite sport Me: yeah"

"Panties ... ... are for pussies."

"I overdosed on Viagra once. It was the hardest day of my life."

"What do you call a country ruled by dank memes? Kappatalism"

"I'm crowd funding an organic lettuce purchase from Whole Foods."

"Six words that strike fear in the hearts of parents everywhere: You've been volunteered as a chaperone"

"What's the difference between Wendy's and Windows? Wendy's is never frozen."

"You know what the best part of having dyslexia is? I have sex daily"

"Whoever thought of appetizers was literally like ""we should pregame this food w more food"" and I think that's really beautiful"