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Joke of the Day

"The next World Cup is going to be held in Nevada FIFA Las Vegas"

"In Sweden paternity leave is a big thing. And it is very challenging, almost every father loses 23lb in the first few weeks. They have no idea where the baby is."

"I had to defrost the fridge last night before bed. Or foreplay, as she calls it."

"When the smog clears over Los Angeles... ... U.C.L.A. I am not at all sorry for this joke. Edit: So at some point I went from 20 to 923 upvotes. I regret not checking this sooner."

"I'm excited about a black person being on the $20 bill. I always wanted to use black people as currency."

"no, no-- i'm pro-life only until the baby is born. after that the baby must exist in a hellworld of preventable disease and gun violence"

"God: You finish all 11 commandments? Moses: About the 11th one... God: What? Moses: Check yourself before you wreck yourself? God: Fine, 10."

"When a Jehovah Witness dies, Heaven turns off all the lights and pretends no one is home."

"What do you get when you cross a stoner with a halo nerd? Masterchief"

"What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel? I am Root."