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Joke of the Day

"Why did dave go into the backseat? Because kurt called shotgun."

"To err is human, to eh is Canadian."

"I've decided to sell the vacuum... It's just collecting dust. Credit to Codsworth"

"Xerxes I is the most successful carpet dealer. He went to the West with a million Persians and came home with only a handful of them."

"It's so cold outside. I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets."

"Because Washington passed gay marriage today I threw my human wife in the garbage, fucked 2 donkeys & married a rotisserie chicken."

"Today I tried to pick up a girl by telling her I was invisible. She saw right through me."

"Why is NTFS healthy? Because it's FAT free."

"I just tried to kill a spider with hairspray He's still alive, but his hair looks amazing."

"Birthdays are good for you.... The more you have, the longer you live."