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Joke of the Day
"What is a pirate's favorite kind of explosive? A M-80."
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"Apparently the yellow power ranger died after being hit by a car. ""It's MORPHINE time"" joked one ER nurse, who was later fired."
"My brother and I both like our women like our coffee... He likes them hot and black. I like them cold and bitter."
"Really Smooth. I lied told my dad that school was canceled. He said,"" lets go see a movie."" We got in the car and he dropped me off at school."
"You can eat a huge bag of cashews right in front of a cop and he can't do shit about it because cashews aren't illegal."
"what did they tell the eastern European tree who wanted a room at the hotel california you can czech in any time you want but you can never leaf"
"I met a plastic surgeon at a bar last night... He specialized in male-to-female sexual reassignment surgeries. He was a pretty nice guy, but a total *womanizer*."
"Where does bad light go? Into a prism."
"So I ordered some General Pao chicken They gave me a bowl of false promises."
"Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have snacks in your purse."