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Joke of the Day
"The Chicago Cubs"
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"I think my daughter might turn out to be the next Martin Scorsese! (Her eyebrows are fucking terrifying)"
"Kylo Ren was more powerful with his helmet on. With it off, he had to use a majority of his power to maintain his hair's body and bounce."
"It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living."
"M: If my chip:salsa ratio isn't perfectly even, I will burn down this restaurant, I swear to God. H: This is our house. M: I SWEAR TO GOD!"
"Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint."
"Adrian Belew He needed the money."
"Keep scrolling... I got nothing!!"
"Never trust Atoms They make up everything"
"How do you make a 4 year old girl cry twice? Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear."