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Joke of the Day

"Whoever has my voodoo doll out there ... please scratch between my shoulder blades."

"BRAIN: you need to let loose a little, have some fun ME: rainbow colored goldfish crackers it is"

"What does a bull do to stay warm on a cold day? It goes into a barn and slips into a nice warm Jersey."

"The richest black man in NYC has got to be Duane Reade."

"What do GTA and the third Reich have in common? If you have a star, you are getting chased."

"Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet? Because he was always lost at C."

"what's Putin having for Christmas? Turkey"

"I was going to have an 'end of the world' party... ...but I couldn't get the day off work."

"Sure, I'll spend $5 on a cup of coffee, but I draw the line at paying 44c to have someone travel 3000 miles to hand deliver a letter for me."

"Neat, your girlfriend is made out of the same stuff as your air guitar!"