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Joke of the Day

"Sure, I'll spend $5 on a cup of coffee, but I draw the line at paying 44c to have someone travel 3000 miles to hand deliver a letter for me."

"Me: My flight was canceled so I won't be home until tomorrow. Her: but you said you were just going out for milk."

"My friend is getting a new car - a ""tangerine"" ford focus. Dad drops this one... Tangerine focus... Isn't that the same as orange concentrate?"

"Justin Bieber should thank Elton, Adam, and Ricky for making his closet a walk-in."

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through something so small?"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Canoe ! Canoe who ? Canoe come out and play with me ?"

"Saw a couple wearing surgical masks in public and all I could think was ""what do they know that I don't?"""

"What happens when an elephant sits on a car? It breaks the trunk."

"If a woman that likes younger men is called a cougar... Then a man that likes little boy is called a nittany tiger."

"No, I'm not ""lackadaisical"", I'm lazy, which is the same only 3 whole syllables less."