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Joke of the Day

"BRAIN: you need to let loose a little, have some fun ME: rainbow colored goldfish crackers it is"

"My brother and I laugh at how Competitive we were as kids. But I laugh more."

"What's the difference between a joke and a rhetorical question?"

"As I'm getting older I find that I'm using my glasses more When I was young I just drank straight from the bottle"

"I'm Only Here For The Free Food"

"*co-worker approaching elevator* *I try to hit ""close door"" button* *I miss, hit ""open door""* Co-worker: thanks for holding it Me: Of course"

"I farted in a room of hipsters... and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first."

"The brain is a amazing organ it works 24 hours a day 365 days a year from the day you are born until you see your first woman naked."

"Christmas gift Mom walks to her son ""Johnny, what would you like for Christmas - a brother or a sister?"" she asks ""Well, I'd like a sled, but I don't know if your vagina can handle that."" he replies."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Buster ! Buster who ? Buster tire can I use your phone !"