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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally dripped some mustard on my newborn daughter's forehead and long story short a nurse just walked in and saw me lick the baby."

"How do you pump up a room full of shy introverts? ""LETS GET READY TO MUMBLE!!!"""

"If you say ""I knew you were going to say that"" enough. You can start billing people for psychic readings."

"I lost all my Pokemon cards in a house fire I only have Ash now."

"If a cop busts you with a prostitute, slip an engagement ring on her finger & be like ""Joke's on you, bro; we're in love!"""

"Did you hear about the man with five penises? His condom fits like a glove."

"What do you say when comforting a grammar nazi? There...their...they're.."

"What does 80 year old pussy taste like? Depends"

"Why don't they have driving lessons and sex ed on the same day in Saudi Arabia? They don't want to overwork the camel."

"What would you guys like to ask an American? Nevermind they'll just tell you anyway"