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Joke of the Day

"This morning I made the strongest coffee ever. It's so black a cop kicked in my door and shot it."

"I'm having an out-of-money experience."

"Do I have a girlfriend!? Are you kidding me? DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TOILET PAPER THOSE THINGS USE!?"

"That thing your kid said wasn't funny."

"What does a hardware salesman do on a one night stand? He nuts and bolts."

"What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat? One's weasily recognised - the other's stoatally different"

"I don't think this guy who just told a woman to calm down understands how women work"

"What do you call the accidental nuclear bombing of a furniture plant? Chairnobyl."

"My fellow Canadians, Complain about the heat just *once* and it will get taken away from us. Don't be the reason we can't have nice things"

"Definition of FACEBOOK? It's a place where Boy posts a Joke, Gets No Response....And If Girl Posts The Same Joke, She Gets 150 Likes, 300 Comments & 60 Friends Requests."