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Joke of the Day

"How do you kill a one legged fox? Have it run across Canada. (maybe only Canadians will get this)"

"Your insistence on having your father walk you down the aisle may seem odd to some Especially considering the two of you are only going grocery shopping. _______________ I stole this joke."

"So I phoned the Amputee Hotline the other day I got cut-off."

"The worst walk of shame is the one back onto the crowded elevator after getting out on the wrong floor."

"When Mike got arrested they told him ""Anything you say will be held against you."" Mike said ""Claudia Schiffer's breasts."""

"What do you get when you cross menstruation and apples? The MaxiPad"

"I accidentally ran over and killed my neighbor's cat today... I was too scared to tell him to his face, so I left a note saying ""curiosity was here."""

"I will not mess up this omelet.. I will not mess up this omelet.. I will not mess up this omelet.. I will enjoy my scrambled eggs."

"What's the difference between your girlfriend's yeast infection and the brand of peanut butter your Mom used? The peanut butter was easier to get off the roof of your mouth ..."

"What do you call breakfast? Breaking fast yooo!"