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Joke of the Day
"Oh, your account is protected? What do you tweet? Nuclear launch codes?"
Next Joke
"Hillary Clinton will potentially be the first f***** president. I wrote female, but apparently someone deleted the email"
"Have you heard the news story about the kid that was arrested when they thought the clock he brought to school was a bomb? It's blowing up"
"Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She caused frequent blue-screens and IRQ time-out errors."
"I like my men, like I like my coffee. So hot, that I have to keep blowing."
"Hey bill collectors, nice try, but I don't even call back people I know."
"My small child told me his opinion on politics and I disowned him for being a nerd"
"Why is it called ""the circle of life""? Because it's pointless."
"I was going to record a video of me playing the violin but... I didn't want to fiddle with the camera"
"Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it."