51982

Joke of the Day

"Can I just drop it like it's lukewarm? It's been a long day and I'm tired."

"What is an electrician's favorite vehicle? A Voltswagen"

"How do you get down from an elephant? You dont. You get down from a duck."

"I used to work at an orange juice factory but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate."

"[looking at wife's tombstone] today would've been our anniversary *falls to knees* why did I pre-buy her tombstone causing her to divorce me"

"What is the difference between a snowman and a snow woman ? Snowballs"

"I bought a new pair of polarizing sunglasses and was asking my friends what they thought of them. They seemed to either love them or hate them."

"I started gaining as much weight as possible... I wanted to become a more well-rounded person"

"What do you call a man who inherits a dairy? A Dairy Heir."

"Mind: Be careful to protect yourself and don't jump right in. Heart: CANNONBALL!!!"