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Joke of the Day

"How do you get down from an elephant? You dont. You get down from a duck."

"Have you heard about corduroy pillows? They're making headlines. ..I'll show myself out."

"Back in the good old days when... Men were men... and boys were men. and women were men..."

"Attack today with a positive attitude. Absolutely destroy it with good vibes. Murder its family with hope."

"Are you bad wifi? Because I see there is no connection here."

"How do you know if somebody graduated from Harvard? They'll tell you."

"Did you know I'm actually ambidextrous... I can actually write fuck all with both hands!"

"Why does santa say ho ho ho? Because three hos are better than one!"

"The defendant is accused of putting a stick of dynamite into a steer. Abombinabull."

"This Jew says to me ""The 90s called, they want their shoes back."" ""The 40s called, your shower's ready."""