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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an orange thats been in the sun too long? tangerine"

"I know we get a lot of dad jokes...here's a mom one What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine? Make it sew!"

"got my blood test results back today, and it's just as i feared. my body is filled with a ton of blood."

"What do you call an electro-food? (it's giga-bite!) yeah it was giga bite yeah you're right yeah giga bite that was it giga bite it!!"

"Yo mama.. is so old that Steven Spielberg used her as a dinosaur consultant in Jurassic Park"

"I've just started my own company called Flying Fuck Airlines. Judging from what I've seen here, it's going to be an outstanding success."

"Getting gilded is like losing your virginity I have yet to experience it... Edit: Thank you, abcriminal, for the gold. It was a worthy experience."

"Who would won in a wrestling match; Lemmy or God? Trick question, lemmy is god... R.I.P. Edit* win not won damnit..."

"My grandmother said she would give birth to my mother when the time machine was invented. Apparently she lied."

"A man and a small child walk into a deep dark forest. ""Dad,"" the child says ""I'm scared."" ""You're scared?"" the man scoffs. ""I've got to walk back this way on my own"""