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Joke of the Day

"I've just started my own company called Flying Fuck Airlines. Judging from what I've seen here, it's going to be an outstanding success."

"How do you compliment a girl with a cold sore? You tell her that her smile is contagious."

"What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common? They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons."

"I don't pluck my unibrow to look good, I do it because McDonald's sued me for illegal use of the double arches."

"What does ever horse and rider do at the same time? Grow old!"

"When a programmer is born, what are their first words? ""Hello world!"""

"You follow me. I follow you. You unfollow me. I unfollow you. You follow me. I follow you. You unfollow me. I block you. ""A Game of Phones"""

"So two snare drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... BAH DUM TSSH"

"Sergeant Miller! Yes sir? I didn't see you at the camouflage training yesterday! Thank you sir!"

"What's the difference between a prostitute and jesus? The face they make when you nail them."