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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a gorilla who magically smokes weed? Hairy Potter."

"Father: *places hand on shoulder* My son..... *Son: Yes father? *Father: Check out this cool severed hand I just found! editted for format, which I suck at apparently"

"What is French Super Mario's favorite board game? Le Ouija"

"With Vladimir Putin so eager to restore ties, I think the U.S and Russia should form one country. We can call it The United States of Soviet Russia! USSR for short."

"For our chemistry exam we had to write a thousand words on acid. Unfortunately my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted"

"What did UK say while leaving? It's not EU, it's me"

"No one beats the Jackson 5! Except their father."

"So the other day I was pressing my clothes But it turned out I had just made even more creases. I was so upset. I guess I couldn't handle the irony."

"Your mom's had so many trains run on her... ...they call her The Island of Sodor."

"It's just sad how often I see zookeepers breaking their own ""Don't Feed the Animals"" rule."