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Joke of the Day

"No one beats the Jackson 5! Except their father."

"I bet that in prison everyone's FB relationship status is set to ""it's complicated""."

"I thought about going to a psychic, but then I started having doubts and changed my mind At that moment I received a text message that said ""Well, that's too bad"""

"Every woman's dessert order starts with, ""I shouldn't."""

"If someone won't lift a finger to call you, see you or spend time with you then it's time for you to lift five fingers and wave goodbye."

"I tell all the girls I chat to that I last ages in bed. It sounds better than telling them I'm on the dole, and don't get up until lunchtime."

"Why do Puerto ricans have so many kids? Because pulling out is work!!!"

"GOD: [reviewing solar system] hmm... i'll give it 5 stars EARTH: [imediately starts screamig due to masive gravitational pull of 4 new stars]"

"I know I'm getting old when I see a beautiful 19 year old girl and I wonder what her mother looks like."

"If Mississippi wore a New Jersey, what did Delaware? I dunno, Alaska."