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Joke of the Day
"Your mom's had so many trains run on her... ...they call her The Island of Sodor."
Next Joke
"Why does the Illuminati have to be the bad guy all the time? Why can't they just be the Illuminice?"
"Blizzards are like sex it's really fun while it's happening but afterwards there's a lot of white stuff laying around that no one knows what to do with"
"Flying today and asking myself a question I used to save for first dates: Should I let them see me naked or just feel me up?"
"Knock knock. Who's there? Gettuda. Gettuda who? Gettuda choppa!"
"I have a bumper sticker that says... ""Honk if you think I'm sexy."" Then I wait at green lights till I feel better about myself."
"A bear walks into a bar. He says, ""I'll have a gin... ... ... ... and tonic."" The bartender says, ""Sure, but what about the big pause?"" The bear says, ""I was born with them."""
"Girl Logic: I'd like him a lot more if he ignored and liked me a little less."
"What kind of jeans does Mario wear? Denim Denim Denim"
"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer! I don't know what he laced them with, *but I have been tripping all day*."