51539
Joke of the Day
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. -Me with beer, me without beer"
Next Joke
"ME: I used to lay in the dark and invite spirits to inhabit my body. HER: Did they? ME: [levitates, engulfed in flames] WHAT DO YOU THINK?"
"If God is a woman, then why aren't we sandwiches?"
"I could have sworn I saw spearmint flavored fig newtons at the shop the other day. But it turns out they were just a fig-mint of my imagination."
"""This is not fair!"" - Russian guy realizing he got bad directions to the fair."
"What's the difference between a lentil and a chick pea? I've never paid money to have a lentil on my face."
"Baby Lawyer: Did you steal the victim's nose? Accused: No. *cries into palms Baby Judge: O, great, he's disappeared again."
"As technology gets lighter, thinner, and faster... People get heavier, thicker, and slower."
"Boss: ""you're fired"" Me: ""I guess we're just gonna have to agree to disagree"""
"How many black people does it take to start a riot.... -1"