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Joke of the Day
"As technology gets lighter, thinner, and faster... People get heavier, thicker, and slower."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the Mexican that was shot on the golf course? There was a hole in Juan."
"*wakes up w/phone in hand* Me:[texting] Sorry I fell asleep on ya last night *text chime* Couch: I'm like right here why are you texting me?"
"What happens when the fog lifts in California? UCLA."
"Who made this Christmas pudding? Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it? Elf-raising flour of course."
"Old Mrs. Hubbard, went to her cupboard to fetch her old dog a bone. But when she got there, the cupboard was bare, so he gave her a bone of his own"
"""Truth or dare"" ""Truth"" ""What's your credit card number"""
"Leo finally won an Oscar. His acting must have been a solid 5/7."
"Why are Jewish men Circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything that isn't 10% off"
"Why was Jon Snow looking for an iWatch charger? Because now his watch has ended."