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Joke of the Day

"I could have sworn I saw spearmint flavored fig newtons at the shop the other day. But it turns out they were just a fig-mint of my imagination."

"Hygiene No my name is dad not Gene."

"I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode."

"Dis earing letters? There's an 'app' for that."

"Teller: Why did the blonde move to L.A.? Blonde: I don't know. Why? Teller: It was easier to spell. Blonde: Easier than what?"

"That awkward moment when you realize you were born roughly nine months after 4/20."

"Me: Shhh, your brother is still sleeping. 4yo: *runs upstairs CRASH JUMP ""Wake up!"" SLAM *runs back downstairs ""No, he's not."""

"What does a cow and 9/11 have in common? We love to milk the shit out of it"

"What do you call a baby bull? A bully!"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Impossible. Feminists can't change anything."