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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chick pea? I've never paid money to have a lentil on my face."

"What do big banks and Hillary Clinton have in common? They aren't too big to fail"

"My girlfriend and I step outside to smoke As soon as we get outside shes says, ""brrrrr, it's windy!"" And I responded, ""actually, its mondy"""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bride ! Bride who ? Bride and Prejudice !"

"Nice try ""blocked number"", but I don't even answer the phone for people I know."

"A guy I work with farted on the elevator... It was wrong on so many levels."

"If something happened to me today, my legacy would be how much my kids say ""like"""

"How do crazy people go thru the forest? They take the Psycho path."

"A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"What do you call a gay Eskimo ? I dunno, but he's the only one in my tribe..."