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Joke of the Day

"And god said to John ""Come forth, and I will grant you with eternal life."" But John came 5th and won a toaster instead."

"What do you do with an elephant with three balls? You walk him and pitch to the Rhino. - *One of the many jokes I remember from Hot Shots.*"

"Why don't rabbits make any noise when they have sex? Because they have cotton balls"

"Many call me an elastic band The more you pull, the harder I cum"

"I was gonna tell a joke about OCD... but."

"Currently I'm dating a anorexic chick. but lately I've been seeing less and less of her."

"Why are suicide kits so hard to sell on Amazon? They never have positive reviews."

"[USPS] M: *hands change of address form* C: Ma'am, this just says ""bathtub."" M: I live there now. C: We can't send mail to a bathtub. M: Yay"

"My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said, ""I wanna watch."""

"So i was at lunch with a small girl she kept complainin bout how she wanted vanilla ice cream so i said this girl like ice cream cuz she as white as vanilla!"