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Joke of the Day

"How does a solar system have a party? They planet"

"If the beavers are rowing their canoe down main st and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes will it take to shingle a dog house? Seven because ice cream has no bones"

"An original joke about Mathew and Not-Mathew. Me:Mathew and Not-Mathew were on a boat. Mathew fell off the boat. Who was left? You:Not-Mathew. Me:Yeah Mathew was the one who fell out. Idiot."

"How was copper wire invented? Someone threw a penny between two jews"

"You know football is a big sport... ...now that you can buy hair gel that gives you the ""Messi look""."

"My mom passed earlier today. It's sad of course, but I know one day she'll stop and say ""Hi."""

"Cop: Do you know how fast you were going, ma'am? Me: I left my pills in my other bag & I'm about to get REALLY chatty. C: You're free to go."

"What do you call bears with no ears? B"

"How does Hitler give directions? He says ""take the Third Reich""."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the restroom? Because the ""p"" is silent!"