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Joke of the Day

"The most valuable lesson I learned from Hey Arnold is that it's okay to punch mouth breathers in the face."

Next Joke
 
"Q. Why do men die before their wives? A. They want to."
"Consequences One of the more interesting consequences of having watched *Pulp Fiction* before reading *Hamlet*, is that I pictured Marcellus as a big black guy."
"People who love Trump hate themselves. Or Mexicans."
"[Clean] You can tell that someone is not from an English speaking country if... ...if their phone's personal dictionary is full of people's names."
"Why did the vulture fly United Airlines? Because they allow 1 free carrion"
"Why was the sprout farmer so assertive? He was an alfalfa male."
"What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing about twenty-eight year olds? There's 20 of them."
"What do Spiderman and I have in common? We're both in love with Mary Jane"
"People who make me do a slight jog because they hold the door open for me when I'm 15 feet away are the first to die when I become god."
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