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Joke of the Day

"The most valuable lesson I learned from Hey Arnold is that it's okay to punch mouth breathers in the face."

"The US can't rely on Hillary Clinton to create jobs The last meaningful job Hillary had was outsourced to Monica Lewinsky... ...and Monica blew it!"

"Pokemon Go is already more popular than Tinder, another app where you swipe to find monsters in your area."

"What do terrorists eat when its sunny? Choc-ISIS"

"Why did the thoroughbred break up with the wild horse? Because she was looking for a stable relationship."

"*Feels the chill* Chill: I have a boyfriend"

"What do you call a duck that likes to steal? A Robber Ducky!"

"*walks into bank* THIS IS A ROBBERY *people drop to the floor* JUST KIDDING, BUT NOW THAT YOU'RE LISTENING *lowers guns* A TOMATO IS A FRUIT"

"I'm filming a documentary on the serious subject of circumcision. It's called Robbin' Hood."

"My wife spent two weeks deciding what color to paint the bathroom. I got a cat on my 9th birthday and named it Cat."