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Joke of the Day

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, you're good. Fool me four times, WOW! Did you major in fooling?"

"Police: How did they break in? Me: I have a fake garden rock w/a key inside. Police: They found it? Me: They threw it through the window."

"The Super Bowl is over, everyone. Time to briefly learn the names of some Winter Olympians."

"When did you find out Santa wasn't real? For me it was when I noticed he had the same birthmark on his cock as my uncle."

"Sometimes I'll order a pizza without any toppings... When I'm feeling saucy."

"A mexican fixed my deck today... I guess you can call it Manuel labor."

"""I propose a toast"" ""I propose a bagel."" ""Ya bagel, much better."""

"What do you call two doctors with colds? An ironic paradox."

"I was at a party playing guitar once and somebody asked me if I could play Wonderwall I said maybe"

"China is now entering sperm as contestants in Olympic swimming events, claiming they are of age."