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Joke of the Day

"China is now entering sperm as contestants in Olympic swimming events, claiming they are of age."

"Why did Donald Trump defend the size of his dick? Cuz he's gonna use it to fuck the Republican party."

"Once you stop doing functional programming... You never return"

"What is dark and hairy on the outside, soft and moist on the inside, starts with a C, ends with a T, and has a U and an N in it? A coconut"

"Why shouldn't you kiss anybody on New Years Day? Because it's the first date."

"So my girlfriend's sign was Cancer. which is quite ironic considering how she died. She was attacked by a giant crab..."

"I'm sick of being the guy everyone comes to when they want the money I owe them."

"Look at all of these beautiful horse ""Horses"" Horse is already plural ""You're thinking of elk"" *stares off* Holy mooses, you're right"

"After spending twenty minutes making up outrageous symptoms, WebMD diagnosed me immature, and an asshole."

"It's so hot, I just saw a bird blow on a worm before it ate it"